DUEL96 FM
by Mythakazu
Summary: As an inspirational ploy, the Authoress attempts to sponsor the cast for their own radio station! Come and see what mayhem occurs as they try to run it for a day! Please read and review! ^_^ (An important notice to all readers! Please read! o_o)
1. And we're on air!

**DUEL96 FM **

By Mythakazu

(Author's note: Oiya! I haven't written anything in a long time! @_@;; Anywho, I'm Mythakazu, newbie *gasp!* to the Yu-Gi-Oh! reign of fandom… Yay? O.o Anywho, this story doesn't have much of a true beginning, just so you know. It takes place in a radio station somewhere in Domino Town, that I've decided to sponsor for some odd reason, and the cast are under contract to keep it going. Or something. Yeah x_@. Sooo, anywho, please read and review! ^_^ I'd really appreciate it! Enjoy!)

(NOTE: I have ALL the chapters ready. At least five reviews will get me to post the next chapter, m'kay? Oh, and hello to all of yous at the Yu-Gi-Oh! dungeon forums! XD You may have read a bit of this in fanworks…)

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*screeeeech!*

Yugi: *tapping a microphone* …Uhh… Is this thing on? Testing!

Joey: C'mon, you're doin' it wrong! Like this! *he snatches the microphone and bangs it against the desk*

Myth: Auuggghh… Why'd I agree to sponsor this?

Anzu: Well, it seems to me that you have had supreme mucho grande writers block for the past while, and decided that, as a desperate attempt to do SOMETHING, you decided to ever so graaaaciously give us this radio programme? *smiles*

Myth: x__X Fwah. Good point… Um, Joey?

Joey: *holding what used to be a microphone* Yeah? What?

Myth: Please keep in mind that if anything in here breaks, it's gonna be ME who pays for it.

Honda: *evil glare* Cooool….

Myth: Intentional damage, however… You're gonna pay! 

Honda: Make me!

Myth: I DO have lawyers, y'know. *pulls out a remote and presses a button*

Lawyers: *run in the room* Ahoy-hoy!

All: o_O

Lawyer1: Greetings, sirs and madams! I'm Mythakazu's attorney, Miss Molly Taxduct, and I'm a representative from my company. *hands Bakura a business card*

Bakura: …*reads* "Molly Taxduct, from the 'Bureau of Reserved Omnipotent Kleptomaniac Entrepreneurs' law firm"…

Yugi: B.R.O.K.E? o_o         

Molly: Yes, thank you very much. Oh, and sir… *takes the beaten microphone from Joey* Please take heed that that's just what you're going to be if you don't smarten up. *leaves*

Myth: Heh heh heh…

Anzu: You boys are silly… Now come on, can we please get this show on the road?

Yugi: Yeah, that reminds me, just what kind of stuff are we going to do?

Myth: Well-

Bakura: *runs in and knocks Mythakazu away, into a wall* Well, since I'm the self appointed station manager, I suggest we start with your morning news and traffic bulletin.

Honda: C'mon, what makes YOU the manager?

Bakura: Because the fangirls like ME better ^_^

Myth: I don't.

Bakura: *glares at Mythakazu, and the Millennium Ring fires an energy blast inches from her head* Hn.

Myth: O_O *faints*

Joey: …Well nuts to you!... -___- 

Yugi: Okay guys, let's get this show on the road!... I guess…

----

(Dun dun dun duuuun!)

Yugi: *sitting on a phonebook, on top of a chair. He's wearing headphones and speaking into a microphone* Welcome, listeners, to the newest radio sensation! This is YUGI96 fm, and-

Joey: *also sitting on a chair, sans the phonebook, with the same equipment* Hey hey! Who says we get to name the station after you? I say JOEY96!

Anzu: *ditto for the others* No way! You guys always have all the fun! I propose we have ANZU as the station name!

Myth: *must I repeat myself?* MYTH! That's always fun!

Bakura: *and again.* …RING96, if you don't mind.

Honda: …*yeah.* Umm…

All: Well? *everyone glares at Honda*

Honda: …L33T? *everyone face faults*

Anzu: What kind of a name is that?

Joey: At least Joey sounds better than Anzu!

Bakura: Well, mine isn't a shameless egotistical plug!

Honda: Yes it is! Now, mine has nothing to do with me at all, except that, yes, I am l33t!

Myth: I'm sure these guys don't even know what that means!

*they all get into a bloody brawl (aside from Yugi), though you can't see it 'cause it's the radio.*

Yugi: Eh heh… ^_^;; We'll be right back, folks! Uh… *ducks as a speaker goes flying over his head* Bear with us! 

----

(Later…)

Yugi: Welcome to DUEL96 fm! We're your hosts, Yugi, Joey, Anzu, Honda, Bakura and Mythakazu! *gasp*

Joey: *covered in bandages, as everyone else who fought*  Hiya, peoples. I'm Joey, here to bring you the news!... Um… News? *looks around franticly*

Honda: *snickering* Here you go… *hands Joey a piece of paper*

Joey: Okay! Anyway, *reads* our top story today, the official annual 'Lemming Drop' has begun in Norway, with thousands upon thousands of the furry little rodents dropping from outstanding heights to the abyss below!... Um…

Myth: *also snickering* Come on! Read it! Dead air is bad!

Joey: Well… Er… An excessively large rampage of bagels was seen in the downtown area earlier. They are believed to be high in fat and very dangerous (half the teenage girls around the country faint)… Civilians are highly advised NOT to go running in the street with cream cheese in an attempt to stop the bagels, which is highly cautioned. It can be traced back to the carrot incident of '82, when one man ran out onto the street shouting 'Back, fiends, I have ranch dressing!' and was promptly annihilated… 

Honda: Keep going!

Joey: *shuffling through the papers* Uhh… Well… In other news, stock prices have taken a mighty plummet! Though most noticeably in Kaiba Corp.'s seemingly impressive reign… 

(Elsewhere, in the Kaiba mansion)

Kaiba: Auuuggh! My STOCKS! *picks up a cellphone* Sell, sell, SELL!

(Back at the station…)

Joey: …People seem to have lost interest in the impressive Duel Monsters Holo-Tech stadiums, now preferring to play their duels the old fashioned way, and using pennies, lint balls and any other random objects lying around as monsters. People say it gives a more 'Realistic, down to earth' feel while playing…

(In the mansion again…)

Kaiba: NO! *dials again* Quick! I want 7 000 000 shares in the dryer lint market!.... Yes, I'm feeling fine!... No, I don't need to go the padded room again!... Now BUY it!

(aaaand the station…)

*Honda, Myth, and now Anzu and Bakura, are snickering madly*

Joey: Uhhmm… *still reading* This just in, we were just kidding!... *stops* Ha! I get it! Good one… *continues* Anyone who believed this utter trash should seek mental help immediately, as they obviously do not have the required amount of brain power to exist properly in this world. Or their name is Seto Kaiba. Whichever comes first.

(mansion, la la laaaa…)

Kaiba: …o__o Auuggh! *his cellphone rings* What?... The dryer lint market dropped?... Auuuuugggghhhh!... Duel Monsters just went waaaay, waaay up, and that my former shares, which used to be worth billions, are now worth trillions in stock, thus killing a large portion of my corporate reign and making me look like a complete idiot to top it all off?.... AUUUUUGGGGHHH! *throws his cellphone against the wall and curls up into the fetal position, stroking a wad of cash*

Mokuba: *wanders by*…Heeey! *calls out to passing servants* I think big brother needs to go to his happy place again!

Kaiba: Lint... Lint… Lint… Lint… Lint… *twitch*

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END OF CHAPTER

(Sooo, how'd ya like it? ^_^;; Again, please review! Five or more reviews will persuade me to post the next chapter! And sorry if the spacing's bad, my fics always post weird x_@)


	2. Time for a Traffic Update!

**DUEL96 FM**

By Mythakazu

(Chapter 2)

(Okay! I know I said five reviews, but this story got pushed down so much by uploaded stories in such a short time it was crazy! O_o In fact, not even an hour after I uploaded it, it was already down half a page! @_@ Oi vei… Well, I suppose I'll drop the five review thing. I don't like that much anyway. Just review anyway! XD;; Next chapter will be soon! Enjoy! ^_^)

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(the station, once more)

Joey: Aaand that wraps up the daily news report! I'm Jounouchi Katsuya!

Anzu: *hits a button to turn on the music and advertising*  Great job, Joey!

Bakura: Yeah! Honda, that trick report was hilarious!

Myth: Yeah!

Honda: …Trick?

All: o_O Um…

Honda: Nevermind… So, Yugi, what are we doing next?

Yugi: *holding his headphones, humming* La la laaa…

Honda: ..Yugi?

Yugi: *singing softly* La laaa… IIII'm gonna soak up the suuun… la la la…

Honda: Earth to Yugi!

Yugi: *singing louder* I'm gonna tell 'em that IIII've got nowhere to plaaaaaay…

Honda: Wake up! Helloooo?

Yugi: *singing really loud* I'M GONNA SOAK UP THE SUUUUN! ^___^ *hops on top of his phonebook chair and poses*

All: YUGI!

Yugi: o___o eeeeep… *loosens his jacket collar and sits down, embarrassed* 

Bakura: Anyway, Yugi, we wanted to know what you think we should do next.

Yugi: Well, traffic reports usually follow the news, I guess…

Myth: You know, I think this station came with a traffic helicopter we could use!

Anzu: Wow! Can I fly it?

(Later… Everyone is out in a mini hangar out back, staring at a lousy, and I mean lousy, excuse for a helicopter. Two of the blades are bent, the cockpit is dusty, the frame is dented and the seats are ripped)

Anzu: Nevermind…. 

Joey: How do you expect us to do a traffic report in this piece 'o junk?

Honda: Maybe we don't have to use it…  I mean, Myth's a bird, can't she fly around downtown with a headset on?

Myth: No! It's too hot outside! I refuse to go up into the humid atmosphere!

Bakura: But it's only 15 degrees… (Celsius)

Myth: Yeah, well, I'm Canadian! Deal with it! _

Yugi: What a crazy excuse…

Myth: Hmm… I've got it! *attempts to snap her fingers.. er, wings, together, but can't* Darn it… Come on… *still no luck* Dramatic effect… must… work… Aww, geesh, nevermind… 

All: ……

Myth: Forget that! But I really have an idea!

----

(later… Everyone's outside on a street corner. Anzu's holding up a sign saying 'HELICOPTER HAPPY HAPPY FUN LAND RIDE! $5.00!')

Myth: Isn't it genius? We can get some poor sap off the street to fly the chopper, AND get five bucks!

Joey: Dibs on the five bucks!

Bakura: I really don't see why we had to call it something so lame as 'Happy Happy Fun Land Ride'… Was that really a necessity? 

Honda: Simple! It makes it look more 'fun fun'!... *stared at* Well, it does!

Bakura: But really, what kind of blundering idiot would pay to ride in that thing?

Myth: That's why we keep the chopper out back. *points to very, very, very small text on the sign reading 'No refunds. We mean it. Tough darts.'*

Bakura: But still… I don't think anyone would trust anything with 'happy happy' in it… It's just… *sees two people making a mad dash towards the sign* … stupid? O.o

Joey: Alright! Customers!

*stopping at the sign at the very same time, both panting from their mad dash, are Mai Kujaku and Insector Haga*

Mai: *pant* Whew! Once I get high in the sky, I can avoid all those perverted boys who keep stalking me!

Crowd of Boys: We aren't stalking you! Honest! Sheesh… *they turn and leave, revealing the words 'Kujaku Stalkers Association' written on the back of all their jackets*

All: o_O

Haga: *pant* Ha! Once I get up there, I'll finally be able to commence part 1 of the geek's world domination plan by decoding the radio waves emitting from that high tower, and use them to power up the super secret ray gun that will befuddle everyone's minds into thinking that glasses and bowties are a sign of supremacy, and are nothing something to be made fun of! Take THAT, you guys who mocked me, and said I couldn't win the regionals! Ha ha ha ha-

Yugi: *shoves a sock in Haga's mouth* Please, please, PLEASE don't laugh. I already have a headache…

Bully kid person thing: *throws a rock at Haga* Ha ha! *leaves*

Mai: *holds up a five dollar bill* Well, here's my money! Let me on! Quick, too, because I think those stalkers have brought backup…

Stalkers: *all holding cameras with telephoto high power zoom lenses* What?

Haga: *holds up a bill as well* Mmmph! Mmmmpph! *the sock, remember?*

Anzu: …What do we do now? We only need one anchor… Why sacrifice two innocent lives?

Mai: What was that?

Anzu: Nothing, nothing…But how do we choose?

Honda: Maybe we don't have to… One could pilot, and the other could report…

Joey: Good idea! The short one can pilot, since I think he's in no condition to talk, and Mai here can be our reporter!

Mai: …Reporter?

Myth: Uhh… Yeah! That's the fun part! You get to help with a low budget radio station!

Mai: ….Why should I?

Bakura: 'Cause it's either us or them… *jabs his thumb at the stalkers, who are setting up tripods for the cameras*

Mai: Point taken.

----

(Everyone is at the helicopter, which is now outside. Mai and Haga are strapped in, both with headsets on *the sock still remains*)

Myth: Well, good luck! We want you to fly over the main section of downtown and give us a traffic update!

Bakura: *hands Mai a small, portable radio* Here, you can listen in on this, though I don't see why.

Haga: Mmmph! Mmmmpph! o__o (Translation: But I don't know how to fly a helicopter! That was NEXT week's physics lesson!)

Anzu: Too bad! ^_^ Have fun! *drops a very large, very heavy helicopter manual on Haga's lap and slams the door shut before he can retort with more squawky, muffled sounds*

Yugi: Come on! Let's get back to the station!

----

Bakura: And welcome back to DUEL96 fm! This is host Ryou Bakura speaking, and I'd like to now direct you to our traffic update!

Honda: We have our guest reporters, Mai and Haga, out in our special nifty little l33t (All: Stop saying that!) traffic copter! Mai, how's it look up there?

(out in the chopper…)

Mai: Looking good, for the most bit… It seems there's a slight fender bender on Third Street… Traffic seems to be going with only a slight hindrance with one less lane… *prods Haga and points to the left, who nods and moves forward in that direction*  On route 22... Ouch, I can see a rollover in progress! That's going to leave a mark!

Yugi: *over the headset* How's this going to affect traffic?

Mai: With rush hour coming along, and this being a main route into the city, I think we may have quite a delay on our hands… Yes, I can see the authorities coming along… 

(back at the station)

Bakura: And you heard it first, folks! I'd suggest taking an alternate route into the city for now until this mess is cleaned up!

Yugi: We recommend taking highway 15, as it passes the station!

Myth: That way you can ride our Helicopter Happy Happy Fun Land Ride! Only five bucks a pop! You'll be helping the station!

(out in the chopper again…)

Mai: I suppose being up here isn't so bad…I mean, I'm free from those perverted little yahoos down there… Though I'm stuck with this dweeb with a sock in his mouth up here…

Haga: *has taken out a laptop with a strange transmitter attached to it and attempts to type something up, while steering with his feet* Mmmppph… (Translation: Now, once I get this transmission code properly analyzed, we'll be able to direct the correct frequency to the laser gun… and-)

Mai: Eeew! Is that spider on the dashboard? _

Haga: O_O *spits the sock out* Spider? AAAAAAHHHH! *hides behind the seat, and accidentally sends the laptop crashing out the window in his mad dash* …Darn it!

Mai: …*looks over the dashboard* Oh, wait, my mistake! It was one of my eyelashes! *picks it up and flicks it out the cracked window*

Haga: Double darn it! _ There goes the world domination plot…

Mai: …You're afraid of spiders?... Yet you use insect monsters?

Haga: …Uh… No I'm not! I like bugs!

Mai: *rolls eyes**points to the back of the copter*  Oh, look. I think I see a fly. 

Haga: AAAAAHHHHHH! O_O *curls up in a ball* …Hey… Hey… HEY! *glares at Mai, who has fallen over laughing* That's not funnnnyyyy! _

(back at the station again…)

*all of that chatter could be heard over the radio, since Mai neglected to turn the headsets off*

All: Ahahahahahaha! 

Anzu: *wiping a tear from her eye* Ha ha ha! I wish I could of seen that!

Joey: I should of gone in the copter! Ha ha ha!

Myth: *laughing insanely* Who knew… ha ha ha!

Yugi: Ha ha-… Wait… 

All: Who's flying the helicopter? O_o

(in the copter)

Mai: *heard the last remark over the portable radio* o_o OH NO! Haga, you idiot! You're supposed to be flying this stupid thing!

Haga: Well it's not my fault you played that stupid trick on me!

Myth: *over the headset* And the whole world heard it, too!

Haga: AARRGGHH! _

Mai: Just shut up and fly the stupid thi- *the helicopter, which had mysteriously flown fine without a pilot till now, suddenly plummets down, makes a sharp left and explodes*

(back at the station, whee)

*static*

Honda: o___O You still have that attorney, right? 

Molly: *runs in* But of course! *leaves*

Myth: Why?

Bakura: I think they're both going to sue the pants off us when they get out of the intensive care unit…

Yugi: Um… You heard it live, folks! Our next weather update will be as soon as our guest pilots return from the hospital! Or in fifteen minutes, whichever comes first. *hits the switch for music and advertisements again*

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END OF CHAPTER

How's that? Still okay? ^_^ Personally, I like this chapter. Don't worry, Mai and Haga are okay… Sort of @_@ You'll find out what I mean later… Please read and review! ^_^ Thank you! Next chapter coming soon!


	3. Radio Dramatics

**DUEL96 FM**

By Mythakazu

(Woo! Sorry about the wait, folks! ^_^;; I was busy.

Haga: *being the annoying little twerp he is* Busy listening to music, and playing Smash Bros Melee.

Hey! X_x That's not ALL of it! *thwaps him* Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital? Anyway, just to note, I don't like this chapter quite as much. It was written reaaaalllly late at night, so I was too tired to come up with any really really good humor XD Oh, and prior to the story, I'm just adding comments to a few of your reviews…

Meredith T. Tasaki – (Molly: @__@ Whoa. Like, rilly. What? *brain collapses on itself*)

Sarah aka Celebi – Hmm. Well, though the story is already pre-finished (a first for me! o.o), I could do an extra chapter at the end with people bugging their favorite character currently in the story (and characters coming in later) as DJs, or them being substitutes (You'll see what I mean by that in a later chapter ^_~) and stuff. In fact, if you'd like, email me or leave a note in your review about it, and if enough people would like that, then okay! XD

Aurashi – Hey, you know perfectly well that's my favorite character! XD That was Yugi's idea, not mine!... No, really!... Really! *dragged off* And yes, I must add the sacred lemmings XD

Thea K. – You'll see a bit more in later chapters ^_^ Heh heh heh…

Now, on with the story! Please read and review ^_^ Next chapter soon!)

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Joey: So what's next?

Anzu: Maybe we could do one of those radio dramas! Those are fun!

Myth: I remember old ones late at night on the radio before, I think that'll work.

Bakura: Well, I don't mean to be a bother, but it's kind of hard to come up with a decent plot in… *looks at the clock, which is counting down till air time* Two minutes and thirteen seconds! Twelve seconds, eleven seconds…

Anzu: We'll improvise! Bakura, Yugi and myself can be characters…

Bakura: Eight seconds, seven seconds…

Anzu: Honda can be narrator…

Bakura: Two minutes and five seconds, four seconds…

Anzu: And Joey and Myth can do sound effects!

Bakura: Two seconds, one second…

All: SHUT UP! O.o

----

Honda: And now, ladies and gentlemen, honorable listeners (we hope), DUEL96 fm would like to present our impromptu radio drama, titled… Er… *looks at Anzu*

Anzu: *motions to Honda and shrugs*

Honda: Uh… "All My Chickens"!

Anzu: *slaps head*

Yugi: Ahem… Clarice, my dear, I'm afraid I have some bad news…

Joey: Dun dun duuuuun!

Anzu: *in fake southern accent* What is it, Farmer… Uh… Jones?

Yugi: I'm afraid that our amazing talking chicken, Mr. Cluckers, the chicken whom we depend upon for our income because we're a bunch of lazy bums too lazy to do proper farming at all, has acquired a terrible illness!

Anzu: Why, that's horrible!

Honda: Just then, Mr. Cluckers squanders into the room, looking very green, though I don't know why I bother to say it because his feathers are covering up his face, so in reality you couldn't tell that he was, in fact, very well green in the face, and- *looks at Anzu, who's moving her finger across her throat, telling him to can it* Well, yeah. 

Myth: *paces around the floor to make stepping noises*

Bakura: Er.. Cluck! Cluckity cluck! Oh how I am ill! Won't someone save me from this terrible illness of illnesses?

Yugi: If he dies, then we'll have no income left, and we'll have to… *gasp* WORK!

Anzu: NO! *high pitched damsel in distress like scream*

Joey: *drops to the floor to make it seem as if she fainted*

Bakura: But wait! Clucky cluck cluck! For I'm… um…secretly… er… SUPERCHICKEN!

Joey: Shhpwing! 

Anzu: *bangs her head on the wall*

Honda: And with that, Mr. Cluckers ran into a telephone booth-

Myth: *throws a book at the wall*

Bakura: Ow! That telephone booth hurts!

Honda: *snickering* Then decided it'd be better to go inside, which he did. He then emerged, wearing… a red dishtowel. As a cape!... *Anzu silently screams to the sky, and mouths 'WHY?'* 

Bakura: Now, where's the patient?

Anzu: You're the patient, super doofus! 

Bakura: …Oh my, that's right! I guess I shall die, without the right medical treatment…

Yugi: Mr. Cluckers! Er, Superchicken! Whatever you are! I have something important to tell you before you pass on! I'm secretly your evil twin! *Anzu shakes her head, and decides to give up*

Honda: And with that, Yu-… I mean, Farmer Jones, rips off his disguise, revealing feathers and a beak!

Joey: *pulls on a zipper*

Anzu: Now we shall use Farmer Jones' superior talents to rake in even more money than before!

Honda: One might wonder why Clarice didn't think of that in the first place.

Myth: *hits a drumset, in a comedic 'Badoom-cha!'*

Anzu: *under her breath* Quiet!

Bakura: Well ha! I've been secretly courting Clarice behind your back!

Yugi: Well that's okay! Because she never cleans up after herself, and is a total slob at the dinner table! You can have her!

Anzu: Why you little… *starts to strangle Yugi*

Bakura: Well you should talk! You're so stingy on the chicken feed I've become a mere 40lbs! *he jumps between them, and they get in a dust cloud brawl*

Joey and Myth: Woo! Yeah! *they've forgotten about the SFX, and are now cheering the fight on* Go Yugi! Yeah Anzu! Fight, Bakura! Yaaaay!

Honda: -___-;; Well, join us next time, for another edition of "All My Chickens"! *turns on the music switch* Okay, guys! We're off air!... Guys?...

*Yugi, Anzu and Bakura are still trying to strangle each other*

(In Yami Yugi's soul room…)

Yami Yugi: *the room is shaking violently, and he's constantly tumbling down stairs* What the heck? o_o

----

(back at the station once again…)

Anzu: *wiping sweat from her brow, as Yugi and Bakura do the same* Whew… Sorry about that, guys…

Honda: So I guess we're stuck trying to come up with something else to do?

Yugi: Who knew running a radio station would be such hard work? 

Joey: I thought we could just say a few words and leave the music on all day…

Myth: *looking at the control panel in front of the microphones* Uh… Guys? The tape deck's smoking…

Bakura: Huh? Why's it doing that?... *he pulls the smoldering tape out of it, and puts it back with the other music tapes*

Yugi: *quickly puts on an ad* I guess we need a new tape…

Anzu: I'll get one… *as she goes to reach for a new tape, the old one suddenly combusts, and sets the entire set of music tapes ablaze. The fire dissipates as quick as it came, but all that's left of the music are some ashes and melted plastic…

Yugi: *looks at the ad tape, which is almost done* We need a song so we can bide more time for what to do next! Quick!

Joey: Umm… No can do, pal.

Yugi: Why no-… Uh oh…

Honda: Well, we've gotta do something!

Anzu: Could someone sing?

Myth: -___- I guess I will… I need some sort of music…

Joey: *pulls a guitar out of nowhere* I can be backup!... I've got no experience, buuuut I can take it!

Myth: But what do I sing?

Bakura: ANYTHING! We don't care! Cheesy disco tunes, if you must!

Myth: But-

Yugi: And you're on in five, four, three, two, one…

Myth: Uhh… *Joey begins to strum the guitar, badly* Do the hussle! Doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo doo dee! Doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo doo dee! La la laaa…

Honda: Oh geez… _

(Later…)

Joey: You guys think of anything yet? *still playing VERY badly, and a few strings have snapped*

Yugi: Not yet…

Myth: Here at the copa, copa cabaaaanaaaa! Where music and passion are always the fashion! La la laaaaa! @_@

Bakura: I know! Interviews! I find those can be entertaining!

Anzu: But who do we interview?

Honda: I'm afraid to say it looks like you have to go back on the street with another sign, Anzu…

Anzu: Oh, joy… *takes the old sign, and crosses out 'Helicopter', then replaces it with 'Interview'* At least it's better than this music…

Myth: Oops, I did it again… I played with your heart, la la laaaa!

----

(Meanwhile, at the hospital, for a random time wasting interlude…)

Mai: *sitting in bed, with her arm bandaged up and her foot in a sling*  God, it's boring here… Nuuuurse!.... Nuuuurse!... NURSE!

Nurse: *runs in* Yeah? Whaddya want?

Mai: I'm bored! Give me something to do!

Nurse: Uh… *looks at the table on the side of Mai's bed, and sees a radio on it* Why don't you listen to some music? *turns on the radio, and puts it on DUEL96 fm, surprise, surprise.* Enjoy… *leaves*

Mai: I wonder what's playing… *hears the horrible, horrrrible music* NOOOO! Even now, when I thought I had escaped, they haunt me! NO! *twitches* They're out to get meee… AIIEE! *throws the radio out the window and crawls under the bed, despite her injuries*

(And in the next bed behind the divider curtain…)

Nurse: Now come on kiddo, nothing's out to get you.

Haga: *curled up in the fetal position* The insects… They're out to get meeee…. *twitch*

Nurse: Do I have to call your parents? O_o

Haga: *picks up the pillow* You've sided with them! You've been possessed! Nooo! I might be next! *throws the pillow at the nurse, and runs out the door into the hallway* Run awaaaaay! @_@ *runs around the hospital's corridors in a maddening dash, though he crashes into many things, for he forgot his glasses in the patient's dorm thingiee* 

Nurse: *sits up* Oh man, I am SO not getting paid enough for this…

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

END OF CHAPTER

See? What'd I tell ya? XD Mai and Haga are fine… Soooort of. And in real life, I can sing better than that. XD

*crickets*

No, really… Really!... Reaaaalllllyyy! *dragged off* Read and review, please! @_@;;


	4. Interviews 'R' Us

**DUEL96 FM**

By Mythakazu

(Fwah! Another chapter! Thanks for all the reviews, you guys, I appreciate 'em all! ^_^ Okay, listen up, for I just _might do an extra, guest oriented chapter, but only if enough people like the idea, m'kay! I know Sarah aka Celebi would like to, as she gave me the idea, but if anyone would like to apply, email me at little_kirby@yahoo.com, m'kay? Oh, and if you'd like, add your favorite character from the story (ANYONE who has appeared so far, and there's a few more in the next, and currently last, chapter XD) so I can incorporate something like that in, too, okay?_

Oh, and quickly, review comments! O_o

Pink_Girl_Sakura – I WOULD do CC, but I dunno how to incorporate it ^_^;; I mean, there's so many mixed categories. I'll think of something e.e

Evil Sugarysweetness – Heh heh, sorry! XD I was running out of songs, so I quickly asked a friend, and that's what they came up with. Oh well, better than my caterwailing of 'Copa Cabana' o_x

Faith – Thanks! I'm glad you like it so much! ^_^ It makes me happy when I get good reviews like this.

Jaid Skywalker and Inu-Washa – Ditto! I'm glad someone likes my jokes! XD

Sarah aka Celebi – I'll take that off your hands o.o *grabs Haga by the collar of his jacket and chucks him back in the hospital*

And now, the storrryyyy!... o_o Yeah. Read and review, please! ^_^

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

(Finally, back at the radio station…)

Anzu: Guys! I've got an interview!

Joey: About time! *holds up the guitar, with broken strings everywhere* This thing's only got one string le- *SNAP*… Nevermind.

Myth: *coughing and sputtering, but still singing weakly* Oooon this Harvest MooOOOooonnn… *passes out*

Bakura: So, who is it?

Anzu: I think you might remember. Well, not you, Bakura, but I mean them. So when I said you, I was really referring to Yugi and Joey, so hypothetically speaking-

Honda: Oh, sure, she yells at me for the chicken thing…

Anzu: -___- Forget it! Look, I got Kajiki Ryouta! 

Yugi and Joey: o_O Him?

Kajiki: Ah ha ha! Good to see you again, Yugi! *pats him on the back, and knocks the wind out of him*

Yugi: Gaaaaaak! X_x *pant*

Anzu: So, would you please take a seat? We'll start the interview shortly.

Myth: *wakes up and shakes head* Does this mean I don't have to sing anymore?

Honda: Yeah, don't worry. I think everyone's had enough of our 'music'. In fact, I'm gonna run out and get some more music tapes. *takes the fifteen dollars from Anzu*

Myth: Hey! That was our scam money!

Honda: Yeah, well, too bad! Unless you want to sing again! *leaves*

Yugi: *adjusts his headphones* And we're on in three, two, one…

Anzu: And welcome back, to DUEL96 fm! I'm Anzu Mazaki, here with my interviewee for the day, Mr. Kajiki Ryouta! 

Kajiki: Hi!

Anzu: So, first of all, tell us about yourself.

Kajiki: Well, I'm 26 years old, Fisherman at large, and I like the ocean!

Anzu: Well, that's nice, and-

Kajiki: The ocean seems to call out to me, I can hear it's mysterious melody as I sail across it's crystalline surface… A bitter sweet tune of souls long forgotten out at sea… It talks to me, telling me of its joys and perils…

All: o_O;; Er..

Anzu: Okay! Okay! We get it! Very.. er… inspiring! Now, next question! I hear you were a participant in the Duelist Kingdom tournament?

Kajiki: That's right! I was a duelist there, using the power of the mighty sea to guide me to victory!

Anzu: Right… So, why did you enter?

Kajiki: Simple! I wanted to win the three million dollars so I could rescue my father, who was lost at sea. 

Anzu: I-

Kajiki: The sea works in mysterious ways… Not even an experienced fisherman like me knows why it does what it does… As its soul becomes restless, it feels the need to let the whole world know what kind of pain it may be feeling, and to share it with others…

Anzu: STOP THAT!

Yugi: o_o;;

Kajiki: …What?

Anzu: NO MORE OCEAN! …*composes herself* Okay, okay. What I want to know is, have you ever considered that you don't need THAT much money to get a boat?

Kajiki: Well-

Anzu: I mean, surely not EVERY SINGLE BOAT out there cost so much money?

Kajiki: Er, the thing is…

Yugi: Yeah! I mean, you can rent a paddle boat for five bucks down at the docks!

Kajiki: But-

Joey: And since you willingly paid five bucks to get into this interview…

Anzu: AND an extra five for a helicopter ride!

Bakura: One would think you have enough for a boat already!

Kajiki: *cough*

Myth: Could it be, mayhaps, that this was for your OWN selfish reasons? 

All: Hmmmmm? *stare down at him*

Kajiki: Alright! Alright! So maybe some of it WAS for me!

All: *gasp!*

Kajiki: But, c'mon, you can't expect me to live by selling fish, can you?

Yugi: Actually, I heard the fish market's gone way up in the past few weeks... *looks at the switchboard, which just lit up* Oh! And we have a caller on line one! *presses a button* Hello?

Kaiba: *over the phone, insane laughter is heard the background* NO MORE STOCKS! *click!**beep.beep.beep.*

Yugi: Oh… kay… o_o;; 

Anzu: I don't believe you! Not only do you excerpt some cheap ploy to capture our hearts into giving you sympathy, but you won't shut up about that stuuupid ocean, either!

----

(Meanwhile, at the same time, in a music store…)

Honda: I wonder what tapes we should get… Hmm… *he notices that it's DUEL96 fm playing on the store's speakers* Hey! It's our station!

Manager: You know them?

Honda: I work there! I'm just getting more music tapes… *hears as Anzu yells at Kajiki for being so selfish* Uh oh…

Manager: *listening to the conversation as well* Hey, I got a great idea! And if you do this, all the tapes are on the house for having such a killer station!

Honda: Okay… *listens*…. (thinking to himself) Someone likes our station? O_o

----

(back at the station…)

Anzu: In fact, if I hear you preaching about that stupid sea one more time, I'm gonna scream so loud that-

Yugi: Whoa! We have another caller! *presses a button* This is DUEL96 fm, you're on the air!

Honda: *over the phone, speaking in an attempt to sound feminine* Hello, is Kajiki there?

Manager: *making wispy, ocean noises over the phone as well* Fffsssshhhhhh!

Kajiki: Huh? Who is this?

Honda: This is the ocean, Kajiki!

Kajiki: WHAT? O_O

Honda: Look, I'd like you to know that that Anzu girl is right! I can't believe you, my biggest supporter, would do such a thing!

Kajiki: But… But…

Manager: *now making seagull sounds* Screee!

Honda: It's horrible! And I'd like you to know that I took your father, not because of all those doofy things you said about perils and stuff, but because I was bored and he was a lousy fisherman!

Kajiki: HEY!

Joey: *snickering* Heh heh heh…

Honda: Lastly, I think you should seek mental help, if you talk about me so much! Sheesh! It's embarrassing! Mysterious melody, yeah right!

Kajiki: Nooooooo! _ *runs out the door, screaming*

Honda: Ha! *hangs up*

Anzu: Well… Er… You heard it first, folks! Kajiki Ryouta, famous ocean duelist being bummed out by the one thing he believes in! This is DUEL96 fm, and we'll be right back! *hits the music/ad button just as Honda dashes in the room and slides in a new tape*

Honda: *panting* Whew! Made it!

Joey: What took you so long?

Bakura: Yeah! You missed a great broadcast!

Myth: It was really funny!

Honda: I heard the whole thing!

Yugi: Wasn't it great when someone claiming to be the ocean phoned in? ^_^

Honda: *laughing* Ha! That was me! 

Joey: It was? @_@ 

Honda: Yup! The manager of the music store I went to suggested it, and even gave me all the tapes I needed on the house, for having 'such a killer station'!

Myth: …Someone likes our station? O_o

Anzu: …Wait a minute… If those tapes were on the house, then where's our mone-

Honda: *shoves a sock in Anzu's mouth* Soooo, what's next?

Myth: Well, I was thinking we could do one of those radio trivia programs! You know, where people phone in and play trivia games, and they can win prizes and stuff?

Bakura: But what would we give away for prizes?

Yugi: Well, what about Joey's guitar? 

Joey: Uh… *holds up the guitar, all strings broken, and the handle hanging on by a few splinters* If you say so, Yugi.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

END OF CHAPTER

Whew! X_@ Sorry for any Mako/Kajiki bashing (and Kaiba bashing, and any other sort of bashing if you're a fan ^_^;; I see one of my favorites bashed a lot, but hey, it's common XD), but the whole topic of the selfishness thing was a common discussion point I had seen (Well, as common as mentioning Mako is, anyway o_o). Please read and review, and don't forget the guest thingiee! ^_^


	5. Kawiiiiz!

**DUEL96 FM**

By Mythakazu

(Whee! It's the last chapter! O.o About time, too! And everyone, this is your last chance to email me, or even say so in your reviews, if you'd like me to write an extra chapter will you and anyone else who asks in it! And you can bug your favorite charas, too! XD Please read and review! ^_^ Oh, and before we begin, here are some replies to reviewwwws! @_x

Peacenikky – If you'd like to do traffic, ask to be in the possible guest chapter! ^_^ …I'll get a new helicopter or something o.o

Tiamet - …Heh? XD

SoulBonded – I'll go have a look! ^_^ …Are you psychic? Because, yes, Ryuuzaki (I'm not too much of a fan of him, but I think his Japanese name's cute XD) and Pegasus are in here! XD

RPGirl – I used to watch it, too! XD;; No, he's not coming out of the puzzle, but he could if enough people wanna do a guest chapter! O.o (Yugi: You're desperate to write more, aren't you?)

Gatochu – Are you psychic, too? XD He's in this chapter, yes. Glad you like my writing style XD (Haga: Nobody likes meee x_x)

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Yugi: Welcome back to DUEL96 fm! Now, we're going to dooo… 

All: *including Anzu, who pulled the sock out of her mouth*  The Duelist Trivia chaaaalllleeennngggeee! *firework explosions can be heard in the background*

Myth: Now, the phone lines are open, so call in now and we'll select three people to go head to head, and win this looovely prize!

Honda: An authentic classicly styled wooden guitar, which was owned by Jounouchi Katsuya himself, and signed by the hosts of DUEL96 fm!

Joey: Heh heh n_n *holds up the beaten guitar, shakily signed by everyone in red crayon*

Bakura: And we have our first contestant! Please introduce yourself!

Ryuusaki: *over the phone* Hey! I'm Dinosaur Ryuusaki! And I need some sort of consolation prize to make me feel better!

Yugi: Weren't you the regional runner up?

Ryuusaki: Hey, I USED to be champion! _

Bakura: We have another caller…

Haga: *over the phone* Yeah, until I kicked your butt!

Mai: *over the same phone* Hey, dork boy! Is that that radio station? Get off the phone so I can give them a piece of my mind!

Nurse: *still the same phone, in the background* Morphine time!

*click!**beep.beep.beep.*

Bakura: Um… We have another caller! And you are?

Keith: I'm Bandit Keith! And I want more glory! Ha ha ha! Get ready to lose, punks!

Anzu: Actually, to be more politically correct, it's just punk, since Ryuusaki is the only other contestant at the time of that phrase.

Keith: Whatever.

Bakura: And our last contestant! 

Pegasus: I'm Pegasus J. Crawford! 

Myth: Aren't you already rich?

Pegasus: I've heard rumors there's a Millennium Guitar! I want it!

Bakura: Oooohkaay… Anyway, we have our three competitors! Ryuusaki, Keith, and Pegasus!

Joey: Okay! All these questions will be made up off the top of our heads, have no surefire answer, and are related to the infamous Duelist Kingdom!

Anzu: We'll ask each of you three questions, and the one with the most points will win! If there's a tie, we'll do a tie breaking question!

Myth: Remember the lovely guitar at stake!... Oh, and ride the helicopter!

All: -___-;;

Honda: You ready?

Contestants: Yeah!

All: Then let's start the Duelist Trivia Chaaallleeeennngge! *more cheesy fireworks*

Yugi: Okay! First question to Ryuusaki! What was the card you bet in a very selfish, and stupid, manner while dueling Joey?

All ^_^ Hee hee hee…

Ryuusaki: I'm not stupid!... Rrr… *annoyed* It was my Red Eyes Black Dragon…

Yugi: Correct! M'kay, this one's to Bandit Keith… What was the name of the duelist you directed in battle, and they still managed to lose? Pitifully, even. In fact, they need to learn to duel by themselves…

Myth:  Caller…

???: *over the phone* You take that back!

Keith: Ha! I'd know that pitiful voice anywhere! Kotsuzuka!

???(Kotsuzuka): Hey! C'mon, boss, I'm not pitiful, am I?

Keith: Yes you are! Ha! 

Honda: *presses the 'hang up' button* Oh boy… No grudge matches, please.

Yugi: That's correct, anyway.

Keith: Pfft. Too easy.

Yugi: Ahem. Pegasus, how many hours had elapsed until the first boat left from the island.

Pegasus: Got me. I mean, I was too busy trying to keep track of you and Kaiba to pay any attention to that feeble tournament and all those pathetic duelists battling down there.

Ryuusaki and Keith: HEY!

Yugi: -___-;; Please, I don't feel like censoring anything. It was approximately six and a half hours.

Pegasus: *in a very fake worried voice* Ooooh nooo! I didn't expect you to play such a devious trick like that, little Yugi boy!

Anzu: That always annoyed me, his phony little rambles. Okay, next set of questions. Ryuusaki, what card were you totally creamed by in your match against Joey?

Joey: Oh yeah, who rules? *does a cheesy little dance*

Ryuusaki: Quit making fun of me! It was that stupid little Time Wizard.

Honda: But making fun of people is hilarious! 

Anzu: Besides, you were correct. Now, Keith, here's your next question.

Keith: Bring it on, punk.

Anzu: Name one of the four duelists who managed to win ten star chips.

Joey: Ooooh! Ooooh! Pick ME!

Bakura: Joey, be quiet! You're ruining the question! *shoves a sock in Joey's mouth*

Myth: Where are we getting all these socks from?...

(In Yami Bakura's soul room…)

Yami Bakura: …*digging through a pile of clothes* Blast it! Who's been raiding my sock drawer?

(Back at the radio station…)

Keith: Easy! Me!

Joey: *spits the sock out* Nobody listens to me!

Anzu: Correct! Pegasus? Your turn. Now, how many souls did you capture in the duration of the tournament, NOT before it started?

Pegasus: *still a fake worried voice* Oh, these questions are sooo hard! I can't answer them at all! I don't know!

Anzu: …Two… This is ridiculous! Anyway…

Joey: The last set of questions! The score remains with Ryuusaki and Keith tied for two points each, and Pegasus at zero!... Now, Ryuusaki!

Ryuusaki: _;; What?

Joey: Your last question! Who, without question, is the worst duelist on the island?

Ryuusaki: ….I want to win, but I know this stupid quiz is rigged… -___-;; Oooh well. I lost my pride ages ago anyway… *sigh* Me.

Myth: *jumps in* And don't forget, Ryuu, that you can order a recording of today's broadcast for only $9.95, plus tax! 

Ryuusaki: No! I don't want to hear myself be humiliated again!

Myth: Too bad! I already sent one to your house!

Ryuusaki: Gaaaah! _

Joey: But hey! You're correct! Okay, Keith?

Keith: Yeah? Whaddya want?

Joey: Who, without question, is the BEST duelist on the island?

Keith: Me! That's who!

Joey: Eeeeh! *makes a mock buzzer noise* Me, stupid! I rule! n___n Egotistical happy dance time! *grabs everyone in the station and does a cheesy conga line around the room*

Keith: WHAT? No way, punk! I quit! *hangs up*

Yugi: *breaks free of the conga line, as does everyone else* Actually, to be politically correct (Anzu: This again?), it was me.

Joey: Hmmmph… Pegasus?

Pegasus: Yes?

Joey: I'm afraid that Ryuusaki will win by default, since he got all of his questions and you haven't even answered one!

Pegasus: Oh, but can I still have my last question?

Joey: Ehh… *shrugs* Okay, I guess. Who hosted the Duelist Kingdom tournament?

Pegasus: *stops the fake whiner voice and speaks in a demonic, evil one* I have a better idea! Game Punishment! *strange noises can be heard on Pegasus' line*

Joey: What the? 

Ryuusaki: What- *sounds of dropping the phone are heard, then picking it up*

Honda: You still there?

Ryuusaki: *speaking in a bland, possessed voice* I decide to forfeit. Pegasus J. Crawford shall win this duel by default, for I am not a worthy minded opponent to be dealing with such ancient power. Good day. *click!**beep.beep.beep.*

Honda: We seem to be hearing that noise a lot lately, haven't we?

Pegasus: *normal and singsong again* Oh! Well look at that! I guess I win! Which is a good thing, since I had no idea what the last answer was, either!

Yugi: Well, I guess you win by default…

Myth: You can come down to the station to pick up your prize, then. Enjoy! *presses the 'hang up' button once more*

Bakura: Well, there you have it, folks! Pegasus has somehow won by default, most likely by using some strange, mysterious, and highly illegal ancient power! We'll be right back! *hits the music/ad button* Well, I supposed that worked out fairly well.

Anzu: It's getting pretty late… What time is it?

Honda: Um… *checks the clock* 9:00 pm, exactly. 

Joey: Hey, can we wrap it up now?

Bakura: I guess so.

Myth: See, Joey, this is where you can say a few words and play music all day!

Yugi: Or all night, in our case… I'll put us back on and finish the program for the day, once this song is done… Hey, I like this song! *starts to sing* Daaaay-oh... Daaaaaay-oh! Lift six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot bunch! 

Honda: Aw man…

(A few minutes later…)

Yugi: Welcome back, to DUEL96 fm! 

Anzu: Well, that's it from us today.

Joey: We hoped you enjoyed our fine, quality programming… (to himself) Pfft. Suuure.

Honda: So tune in tomorrow, starting at 6:00 am! You won't be disappointed!

Myth: Good night, ladies and gentleme-

*suddenly, the door is broken with a loud 'CRASH'*

Myth: Wha?

*standing in the doorway are seven figures, silhouetted by the moonlight. They step inside menacingly*

Bakura: Who're you?

Kaiba: *wearing a strait jacket* It's all your fault I've lost billions in stock! Not to mention they think I'm crazy! @__@ DARN YOU, DRYER LINT MAN!

Joey: Well, no wonder.

Mai: *sitting in a wheel chair* It's not fair! Now that I'm temporarily handicapped those stalkers are bugging me even more!

(out on a street corner…)

Guy: Please help the Kujaku Stalker's Association! We need donations to make Mai feel better!

Guy2: *holding a collection box* She needs luxuries! And maybe a move to a new hospital, she says the other one doesn't have cute doctors!

Guy: Hey, I work there! _

Guy2: Ha ha ha!

*they begin to fight*

(at the station, for the billionth time…)

Mai: I'm suing!

Yugi: We have another caller…

Molly: *on the phone* Not bloody likely! You have to get through ME first! Ha ha ha! Aaah ha ha! *insane, demonic laughter* Ahahahahahahahaha!

Kaiba: Hey, that sounds like the woman who escaped from the Domino Mental Asylum earlier this morning…

Myth: o_o *coughs* Oh, great…

Haga: *his jacket's torn in several places, and he's leaning on a crutch* Thanks to you, my plot for world domination failed! So now everyone will continue to think of me as a world class geek!

Anzu: Duh.

Honda: Maybe if you changed that stupid outfit…

Myth: Hey, I like the bowtie! (A/N: Referring to the Duelist Kingdom saga, not Battle City.)

All: …o_O;; *they stare*

Myth: …'___' But still! Honda's right!

Mai: Yeah! Do you know how much your outfit clashed with mine in that helicopter?

Haga: No one could see up there!

Mai: Who cares? No one clashes with me! *knocks his crutch away*

Haga: Gaaaah! *crashes to the ground* _ Ow…

Kaiba: I'd help you up if I could get my arms free… *struggles* Stupid jacket… Darn it! Stupid mental place! I AM SAAAANE! *rips the jacket off* SAAAAANEE! *runs into the streets, waving his arms in the air*

All: o_o;; Yay?

Myth: Maybe you wouldn't be hitting the ground right now if you had better fashion sense! That dork look is sooo passé'! 

Haga: Take that back! I don't see doofy little mage's hats being all the rage, either!

Myth: Mine happens to be original, dork boy!

Mai: Well, my outfit is better than anyone's! So there!

Myth and Haga: Oh yeah?

*Mythakazu, Mai and Haga begin to shout cheesy fashion sense jokes at each other*

Kajiki: *sniff* You forced the ocean to hate me! You made me say all that stuff and now every time I try and go sailing, a storm pops out of nowhere and I have to return to shore!

Honda: …I did that? O.o

Kajiki: …That was… That was YOU on the phone?

Honda: I mean, no, no! I didn't call in as the ocean, using the manager of a local music store to make ocean sounds, and humiliate you for everyone to hear what a selfish person you are!...

Yugi: Nice going…

Kajiki: HEY! *swings a punch at Honda, who recoils and attempts to kick him, etc. etc. etc.*

Ryuusaki: You purposefully made me look like an idiot on that quiz show game! You made it seem like I can't duel at all!

Joey: It's not our fault! You're the one who duels like a four year old! 

Ryuusaki: If it wasn't for Yugi's coaching, you wouldn't of won a single duel at all!

Joey: For your big fat information, I won our duel when Yugi was barred from giving any advice at all! So HA!

*Joey and Ryuusaki begin shouting insults back and forth at each other*

Keith: You guys were biased! Everyone knows I'm the best duelist! You humiliated me, and now I want revenge!

Bakura: This sounds familiar…

Anzu: Hey! You called me a punk! No one, and I mean NO ONE, calls lovable little me a punk! 

Keith: Well I can call anyone whatever I want, little girl! And you're no exception!

Anzu: You take that back, bozo!

Keith: Ooooh, bozo, eh? I'm soooo scared.

*Anzu and Bandit Keith begin to shout insults, much as Joey and Ryuusaki are doing, while Honda and Kajiki continue their fight*

Pegasus: I'm here for my Millennium Guitar!

Bakura: Here it is… *hands the guitar to Pegasus*

Pegasus: …Hey! This isn't the Millennium Guitar! You ripped me off!

Bakura: We never said it WAS one!

Pegasus: Well you should of told me, then!

Yami Bakura: *suddenly emerges from the ring and takes over* Why would I? For I too, seek the Millennium items! So back off! *he grabs the guitar*

Pegasus: It's MINE! *whines like a little child* Mine mine mine mine MINE! *he pulls on the guitar, and so does Yami Bakura*

*everyone, sans Yugi, in the station are now fighting in one way or another*

Yugi: Oooh boy… -__-;; I need asprin… *he looks up, and notices the 'ON AIR' light is still on* Oh geez! O_O ..Uuuh, uuuh, uuuh… And this concludes our broadcast day! Thanks for listening! ^___^;; Eh heh…

*screeeeech!*

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

THE END

Whee! Like it? ^__^;; Again, last chance to ask for a guest chapter! o.o Please read and review! Again, sorry for bashing anyone's favorite character o.o Plot reasons. *bows in an apologetic way* 


	6. Selfhelp? Help us!

**DUEL96FM**

**(****The guests cometh - part 1****)**

**By Mythakazu**

(Wai! Thank you all so much for your kind reviews! ^_^ *bows* I really appreciate it! And, as thanks, I've kept my promise, and for those of you who asked, you're on the air! XD Yay! This portion of the story takes place a couple of hours after the incidents in the last chapter (I figured I should mention that, because all the chapters before hand took place directly one after another.). In other words, you're doing… The grave yard shift! XD Mua ha ha ha ha ha-

Haga: *whaps Myth upside the head with a microphone* Can it, feather-head! Just start the darn thing! We're losing readers!

Myth: Geez! Be happy I didn't write it so you died in the helicopter explosion or something!

Readers: Boo!

Haga:  *blink* Uh… Yaaay! o.o

Myth: By the way, the guest chapter is in parts as well, it's long o.o I really hope no one is horribly out of character, I tried… Oh, and a notice/request thing at the end of the chapter, if anyone's interested. Read and review, please! ^_^

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

An eerie silence seems to loom over the humble (not) radio station, known as DUEL96 FM. Yugi and co. can be seen in a corner, all bound and gagged with industrial strength duct tape. All the previous intruders (yes, even Kaiba, who, instead of being arrested, shooed the law away with a little… shall we say… encouragement?)…

Kaiba: *putting his wallet into his pocket* Suckers.

…were now sitting in the host's chairs, chatting.

Ryuuzaki: So, now that we've acquired this crazy place, after a carefully planned, well thought out hostile take over…

Mai: Oh, please. We just gave Haga the song lyrics Joey and Myth were using earlier, and told him to sing.

Haga: *nod* Hn.

Yugi and co.: *shuddershuddertwitchtwitch*

Mai: Easy as pie.

Ryuuzaki: Ahem. Anywho, since we've taken over this joint, whaddya guys wanna do with it?

Mai: Beauty salon. Duh.

Kaiba: Lint factory!

All: …

Kaiba: I mean… uh… top secret Kaiba Corp. facility, littered with loads of high-tech stuff you simple minded Neanderthals wouldn't understand in a million years. Yeah, that's it. Heh heh heh heh…

Keith: A gym! 

Kajiki: A garbage dump!

Pegasus: Why not an aquarium? *strums on his guitar… somehow o_O*

Kajiki: The sea betrayed me, fool! I shall make it feel the intense wrath of Kajiki Ryouta! *pose*

Haga: Yeah, sure. 

Mai: We told you, it was a simple minded prank!

Kajiki: No, no! Don't try and ease the pain with your cheap tricks! I know the truth! Why, once I had… *continues to ramble, being ignored by everyone*

Ryuuzaki: Why don't we keep the station going? I mean, it's supposed to have somehow gotten loads of viewers in only a day… We could be famous!

Kaiba: But we know nothing about running a radio station!

Keith: We could list stocks all night…

Kaiba: NOOOO! NO! NO! NO! NOO-… 

All: o_o;;

Kaiba: Urm, I mean, no. People wouldn't be interested. La la laaa… *whistles*

Mai: Well, once when I was leafing through my phone book, looking for any hired assassins… 

All: '___' Um…

Mai: *cough*… Well, come on, it was for those stalkers of mine!... Anyway, I saw an ad reading 'Assistant Radio Hosts for hire, dial 1-800-555-CRZY-FAN : 1000 listeners in 30 minutes or your pizza is free!'.

Haga: I'm surprised they have such outlandish things in the yellow pages.

Pegasus: I'm surprised she could remember that ad with such accuracy.

Kaiba grabs his cell phone and dials the number…

(Thirty seconds later…)

Kaiba: OH MAN! They're NEVER gonna get here! We're gonna diiiieee-

(ding-dong!)

Keith: This place has a door bell?

Myth: It came extra.

Kajiki: …How'd you get your mouth free?

Myth: Eeep.

(a few seconds later, with more duct tape applied…)

Pegasus: I'll get it! *he flings the door open, and is immediately trampled by a cluster of people, all wearing headsets, and carrying brightly colored microphones*

Sarah: Oi! 'Scuse me, did someone call us?

Sonya: Yes, yes! My aibou and I would like to cause some carnage!

….

ESS: Sonya? This is 'Assistant Radio Hosts for hire'. Not assassins. 

Mai: Hmmm…

Sonya: What? Nice going, doofus, you signed us up for the wrong company!

Sarah: If I recall correctly, it was you who filed the résumé -_-…

Keith: Hey, you! Are you gonna do your jobs or not?

Pegasus: *dizzy* I want mah pizzah, mumsy! @__@ *wobble*

Kaori: Sure, sure! Anything in particular you want on air?

Kaiba: NO STOCKS! O_O *faint*

Aurashi: ….Ohhhkay. That's nice.

RPGirl: Let's get started!

-------

Judi: Welcome, everyone! We're sorry to report that your regular hosts were not able to make it here tonight…

Ryuuzaki: They were a bit, shall we say, tied up at the moment. Hee hee, get it? Tied up? Hee hee hee hee… Ha ha ha ha… Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *laughs uncontrollably*

ESS: I wish I knew where I could get one of those socks…

Kaori: So, for tonight, all of us will be taking over!

Mai: This radio station has now unexpectedly 'adopted' a new program, running from the late, late hours of the night, into the wee hours of the morning!

Peacenikky: So, the 'new' hosts of DUEL96 FM would like to present to you, 'The Graveyard Shift!' *evil, demonic laugh* Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Kaiba: *waves a piece of aluminum around* Lightning! Scaaary lightning!

Aurashi: Our first segment will be devoted to helping you, the viewers!

Keith: That's right, dweebs! It's time for 'Ask Away, Airhead'! 

Sarah: Oh, sure, like we're really gonna get any callers with that name!

RPGirl: Either way, call 555-DUEL and we'll see what we can do!

Kajiki: Keep in mind that, though this show is on during the night time, we don't take calls from crazed, caffeine high insomniacs. (many people who were dialing stop)

ESS: And we have a caller! You are?...

Bob: Um, yeah. My name's Bob, and I have a problem… Y'see, I have very, very irregular sleeping patterns and stuffs, so I'm asleep all day and awake all night…

Kaiba: I thought we said no insomniacs?

Judi: Crazed, caffeine high insomniacs, Kaiba.

Bob: So, basically, I need to find a way to regulate all that stuffs… and stuff. Yeah.

Ryuuzaki: Well, personally, I recommend that you-

Sonya: *pushes him out of the way* Give yerself a good whack over the head every night at bedtime with a heavy duty mallet! That'll do it!

Bob: Wha-

Sonya: Thanks for calling! *hangs up*

Mai: …This may take some time. We have another caller…

Mitzi: Hiyas! I'm, like, Mitzi! Hee hee! *cheesy, teenage laugh*Anywho, I have, like, a question for you guyses… See, I rilly, like, like Duel Monsters, and I've been trying to teach a friend of mine how to win and stuff without, like, y'know… whatsit… Cheating! Yeah, cheating! What would be a good way to persuade her to stop cheatin' and stuff?

Mai: Like, what did you say? 

Peacenikky: We've got some real weirdoes awake at night…

Haga: I think a good method is to-

Kaori: Whoa whoa whoa, YOU are going to give advice to prevent cheating?

Haga: I-

Aurashi: Now that'll be the day!

Haga: But I-

RPGirl: Yeah, seriously! That's impossible! O_o

Haga: Stoppit! _ Listen, as I was saying, you should-

Sonya: *knocks Haga aside* Give her a whack over the head with a large, blunt object! Thanks for calling! *hangs up*

Sarah: I wish you'd stop doing that…

Haga: Stupid stupid stupid! _ *gets up and walks off elsewhere*

All: ….YAY!

Kaori: We've got another caller, guys…

Judi: You're on the air, caller, and you are?

Randomlamer: Hi, I'm a random lamer, and-

Kaiba: *kicks everyone aside* BUY! SELL! BUY! SELL! Ahahahahahaha! XD *insane, demented laughter* I am the uber lint king! *passes out on top of the hang up button*

Keith: What the?...

Aurashi: That was… random.

Sonya: Hmmph. That was my job. I'm supposed to kick people away!

Ryuuzaki: I wanted to do that…Oh well… *pushes Kaiba off the button*

ESS: Caller, peoples! And you are?

"Random Lamer": *cough* Um, yes. I'm… er… *pauses* a random lamer…

RPGirl: You're calling back since you got cut off, eh?

"Random Lamer": …What?

Mai: You called in not even thirty seconds ago, remember?

"Random Lamer": I did what, now? o.o

Peacenikky: And you got disconnected not even five seconds into your call…

"Random Lamer:: Uh… uh… I have a disorder called 'iforgetstuffeverytwosecondsitus'. Yeah, that's it.

Kajiki: Whatever.

Pegasus: So what's the deal with your call, then? Or should I just look into your soooouuulll?

"Random Lamer": Well, I'd just like to say that this radio station is the worst I've ever heard! You guys really need something better to do! 

Original Hosts: *snarl*

"Random Lamer": You should read stock reports all day! It's more interesting than you!

The still passed out Kaiba: *twitch*

"Random Lamer": And another thing! I want my five bucks back! And then I… *rambles on*

All: …wha?

Mai: Hold it! I know that voice! *walks over to the window*

ESS: Whatcha doin', Mai?

Mai: Hmm… *glances out the window* Aha! There! *points*

All: Eh? *they run to the window, and see Haga, yelling into a pay-phone across the street*

Sonya: Alright! I get to shoot my mouth off again! *runs back to the console and shouts into the microphone* OI! 

Mai: *watches Haga fall over from the volume, then get up and continue to ramble* It's him alright… Weirdo.

Sonya: Listen up! We know it's you, Haga! Give it up!

Kaori: I think he noticed… *watches him pause, then turn his head towards the window*

All (minus Sonya): Nyaaa! *press their faces against the window and stick their tongues out. They can't hear him, but Haga screams, drops the phone and runs off into the distance*

Pegasus: That's that!

Ryuuzaki: And now, time for our nightly traffic watch, coming up in a few minutes! *puts the music on*

Keith: Nice going, dweeb! Now someone has to go and fly that wrecked chopper!

RPGirl: Um…

Kajiki: Um…

Aurashi: Um…

ESS: Um…

(etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…)

Judi: I'll go!

All: *blink*

Peacenikky: Are you nuts?

Judi: C'mon, how bad could it be? *grabs Peacenikky and throws her in the helicopter, then jumps in herself* Woo hoo!

Mai: Wait a second, didn't the helicopter explode? How'd we get it back?

Myth: The same way all your injuries magically healed between chapters.

Kajiki: *glares at Myth* I'm warning you… *holds up duct tape*

All other original hosts: u__u;;

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Good so far? ^_^;; I tried to give everyone equal lines, so please don't get mad at me, I tried! @_@ Next part should be up soon. Oh yeah! The notice! Anyway,

I've been wanting to try co-writing a fic with someone! o.o If anyone's interested, then email me! (email's in my author profile) If so, I'll see if I can work up a plot

and figure it out from there! o.o Humor only, please! ('cause it's what I'm good at XD;;) Please read and review, everyone! ^_^


	7. Something's Amiss in Domino Town

DUEL96FM

(The guests cometh – part 2)

By Mythakazu

Aiiyaaa! o_o I'm incredibly sorry for not updating! I could list a load of reasons, but no one ever listens to my excuses, so I shouldn't really bother @_@ I lost my internet connection a while back, though, so that makes up for a couple months or so...

Haga: But that doesn't account for alllll of it u__u

Hush! o_o Look, who made you assistant intro rambler person thing?

Haga: You did.

....Oooh yeaaaaahhh... Anyway, I apologize yet again! ^___^;; Please read a review! You'd make me so much happier! But first, review replies! o.o

Sarah aka Celebi – I didn't forget! ^_^;; Buuut, there IS a problem... See, if I DO incorporate it, it'll seem weird, because this sort of reaction was absent in the previous chapter o__o;; I'm so forgetful _ Maybe Sonya could hit one of 'em over the head, thus making them all crazy and stuffs?

Peacenikky – Yeah, that policy is evil, though it DOES prevent fics for getting insane reviews for no real reason ^_^;;; *BRICK* Try not to crash it, Judi! XD

Gatochu – Say, what's the fic you wanted it in? ^_^ You're perfectly welcome to, of course. I don't even require credit XD It all started with an injoke between me and a friend of mine, really XD (Haga: *twitch* o_o)

ESS – You're welcome ^_^

Kaori – Yay! I'm seemingly still funnier than the horrible search thing! XD Whee!

JoeyWheeler – Glad y'like it XD Too bad you didn't know sooner, though, I could of thrown you in @_@ Not to mention I'd have a better grasp of your personality.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Judi: How do you fly this thing?... Hmm... *presses a few buttons, and some sheets of metal fall off the helicopter body* Whoops!

Peacenikky: What kind of horrible craftsmanship does this thing have? Sheesh!

Pegasus: Well, we'll leave you to take off, then!

Ryuuzaki: Yup. Take off.

....

....

....

(silence)

Mai: Aren't you forgetting something?

Ryuuzaki: ....Nooooo...

Mai: *points to her head*

Ryuuzaki: Oh yeah! I meant to get one of those drink holder hats! I have to run to the store next commercial break, thanks for reminding-

Mai: HEADSETS, YOU FOOL!

Ryuuzaki: Okay, okay! o_o No need to get scary!

Stalkers: Yeah, angry, scrunched up faces don't make for very good close-ups!

RPGirl: How'd they get here? *does Ryuuzaki's job and hands them both headsets*

Mai: *twitch* I'll get yooooouuu...

--------

Kaori: Heya! And welcome back to DUEL96FM! I'm your lovely host, Kaori...

Sonya: *mutter* Egotist.

Sarah: *whispers* You should talk.

Kaori: And it's time for your nightly traffic bulletin!

ESS: We've got Judi and Peacenikky out in the helicopter, flying live over the busy streets of Downtown Domino! How's the traffic there, guys?

....

....

....

Kajiki: Um...

Keith: You airheads awake?

(in the helicopter...)

Judi: WHEE! Lookit, it's a SEAGULL! *flying around crazily*

Peacenikky: I'm gonna be siiiick... *weakly moves the microphone to her mouth* Yeah, we're awake... Just waiting for Judi to SMARTEN UP.

Judi: *stops goofing off* Aww, okay... *begins flying the helicopter over the downtown area* 

(back at the station)

Mai: So? How's it look around there?

Peacenikky: Well, nothing much to report... After all, it IS kind of late... Though traffic in the business and nightclub districts is thick... Nothing here!

Judi: Ooooh! Wait! I see stuff!

Ryuuzaki: Well, don't just sit there, give us the lowdown!

Peacenikky: Oh my... Um... There seems to be various explosions occurring inside and around one of the buildings here!

All: o_o WHAT?

Judi: ...*sniff* I smell espresso!

Keith: What the heck is that supposed to mean, punk?

Peacenikky: Um... *sniff* She's right, amazingly... I smell coffee!

Aurashi: Give us an update, then!

Peacenikky: Utter pandemonium! The building is the Domino House of Coffeeeeeeeeee.

ESS: Coffeeeeeeeeee?

Judi: The sign really says that!

(A/N: Indeed. It does.)

Pegasus: They can't blow up the coffee factory! I need that to LIVE!

Sarah: I thought you needed 'fruit juice'?

Pegasus: Oh, that was yesterday! I need coffee, foolish girl!

RPGirl: Yes, you heard it here, on DUEL96FM! And you heard it FIRST, too! 

ESS: The Domino House of Coffeeeeeeeee is under attack! We'll bring you the details as soon as they're made clear!... or... something!

Kajiki: Do you see who the perpetrator is?

Pegasus: Oooh! Such big, shiny words! *strums on his guitar* Hee hee... *begins to sing* 

One day I had decided to call,

the station that had once ruled them all!

To join, take part, in a quiz, you see!

I was champion, something that I must be!

So I phoned, and I phoned, and I got iiiiiiiin!

I had tried so hard, I have to wiiiiiin!

*fast*

AndIusedmyamazingubertalentsanddestroyedthesefoolishmortalsTHEE-

(WHACK)

Sonya: Jeez! Shut up! O_o

Pegasus: *rubs head* But I was almost finished...

Aurashi: What do you mean, 'station that had once ruled them all'?

Pegasus: Well, I assumed that people would tune out once I started singing, for they felt unworthy of my amaaaazing voice!

Ryuuzaki: o_O He's right! We've lost listeners!

Keith: Man, it's been broadcasting! You useless punks!

Peacenikky: Uh... Guys? Hellooooo?

Judi: We're still here! And there's loads of explosions!

Mai: Can you guys see who or what is causing it?

(In the helicopter)

Peacenikky: There's too much smoke! I can't see anything!

Judi: I can't fly any closer...

Peacenikky: Wait... wait... I think I see something!

Judi: It's... it's... IT'S!

Peacenikky: ...Well, what is it, then, if you're so smart?

Judi: I dunno, I just felt like saying that! ^_^

Peacenikky: It looks like a person! They seem to be running around crazily, and posing stupidly... Hang on... It appears to be... KAIBA? O_O

(A/N: Oooh! Plot-twisty! o_o)

(Back at the station, whee.)

ESS: That's impossible! He's right here! 

Sarah: ...Isn't he?

(They all turn to the control panel, where Kaiba had previously passed out, and he's currently...)

Mai: ...Not there...

Judi: I see news cameras! Maybe you guys could turn on a TV and find out stuff to report?

Kajiki: How dare you even CONSIDER using some other news program to give us cheap, plagiarized information! It's just not... not... uh... Honorful!

Ryuuzaki: Don't you mean 'honorable'? XD

Kajiki: ...Be quiet! o_o

Ryuuzaki: Make me! 

Kajiki: You little...

Kaori: We'll be right back... Uh... Yeah. *turns on the music and stuff*

Keith: Now what, punks?

Aurashi: Will you quit saying that? _o And I don't know...

Kajiki: Easy. *walks over to a corner of the room, and flicks on a small TV set*

All: ....What?

Kajiki: Come on, really? I thought about it for .5 of a second, and I realized that since we can't really get any news on this with just a helicopter, I thought we might... you know... BORROW some information...

Mai: You mean, STEAL it?

Kajiki: o_o Heavens no, woman! I'd give it back afterwards!

Sarah: Riiiiight... 

Pegasus: Oooooh, goody! A TV! Let's watch Funny Bunny! *stupid, childish grin*

RPGirl: No! Can't you think of anything else?

Pegasus: ....Um... Hm... That's a good one... Well... Er... Huh... *blink* ...Not a the moment, no. *strums his guitar*

Sonya: Quit that before I smash the darn thing! o_O Crazy old men and their crazy old guitars... Barbaric, I tells ya.

Keith: C'mon, punks! Let's watch!

(on the TV...)

Newswoman: I'm Linda McPorter, reporting live on the scene of a tragic incident in progress. It seems that a crazed madman, identified as Seto Kaiba, is going all out kamikaze on the Domino House of... um... Coffeeeeeeeeee, otherwise known as the Domino Coffee Factory.

Kaiba: *runs in front of the camera* WHEE! I ruuuuule, foolish mortals!

(Pegasus: Aw, come on, now, I doooo!)

(Kaori: Hush!)

Newswoman: Urg... Hey! *pushes Kaiba away, and straightens her hair* He seems to be throwing various explosives around everywhere, and causing utter pandemonium in the usually quiet, peaceful streets of Domino Town! 

Kaiba: *in the background* Ha ha ha ha ha ha! *maniacal laughter* Oh yeah!

Newswoman: Weirdo... Anyway, it is the opinions of this reporter that-

*BOOOOOM!*

*static*

(At the station...)

ESS: The heck? What was that?

Pegasus: Let's watch Funny Bunny!

All: NO!

Sarah: *grabs a microphone*Oi! Judi! Peacenikky! You guys see anything?

Judi: Yeah! Some news lady got knocked out by an explosion!

Peacenikky: And I think Kaiba's just declared himself the king of socks...

(At the disaster area...)

Kaiba: Woo hoooo! *standing on a stack of coffee cans* I am the sock master! Bow down to me! *waving a stick, with his socks tied to them* Yes!

Police officer: Now, come on there, sonny... No one's gonna hurt you... Just come down, and we won't have to use force... There's a good- AAAAAHH!

(and now, a brief interlude of Batman music! Nah nah nah nah nah...)

*WHAM!*

*POW!*

*BIFF!*

*ONOMATOPOEIA!*

Judi: *watching above* What in the?...

*KER-BAM!*

(Stop the interlude! Okay! I'm done! o_o)

Kaiba: *climbs back on top of his coffee cans, now with two additional socks tethered to his stick* No one messes with Seto Kaiba! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

(Back at the station...)

Peacenikky: Let's just say... It's really, really weird! O_o

Mai: Hey, the TV's coming back on!

(On the TV...)

Voice, coming from the Camera Dude: Uh... It appears that Miss McPorter has been rendered unconscious by one of the explosions caused by Kaiba... I suppose this means no more news from us until she regains consciousness... I suppose you could tune into that new radio station or something-

(Ryuuzaki! Woo hoo! We're special!)

(Sonya: Can it, Ryuu, we're trying to hear! O_o)

Camera Dude: -but don't forget to check back soon! We should have a new reporter by then... I think...

???: *off camera, of course* No! No! No!

Camera Dude: Hey, what are you doing? Put that back!

???: I'm here to ramble! Now be quiet! *runs into view of the camera, revealing himself to be...*

(Back at the station, woo hoo! o_O... And stuff!)

All: HAGA? O_O

RPGirl:  The little twerp!

Aurashi: What's he doing there?

Kaori: Fiend!

Pegasus: *strumming on his guitar* I want Funny, I want Bunny, meow mix, meow mix, gimmie money!

Kajiki: Enough already! O_o *takes the already wrecked guitar and smashes it against the wall*

Pegasus: Ooooh, darn... I wanted to serenade Cecelia when she comes back to life! *sigh*

Sonya: She ain't missin' much...

(On the TV...)

Haga: *holding a microphone he took from the reporter lady* I'm here as an official representative from DUEL96FM, and I'm here to say... That station is EVIL! Pure evil! No one should listen! NO OOONE! O_O *twitch*

Camera Dude: Uhh... *looks around* Hey, kid, while you're here... *whispers*

Haga: And then, you should... What?... *listens* ...Yes... Yes... Okay... Sure!... I guess o_O

*static...*

(ESS: Not again! u__u)

*The signal suddenly returns, but now with official news logos. In fact, it looks like a normal broadcast, aside from Haga looks a little young to be a reporter, and Kaiba running around in the background, accumulating more socks*

Haga: Hello. I'm Insector Haga, reporting live, for channel 5 news. This horrible incident concerning the local coffee factory, socks, and most importantly, Seto Kaiba, is still going strong. Officials have yet to apprehend the insatiable individual, who seems to be attacking anyone who gets too close, and stealing their socks. It is not known if this person is officially deemed insane, although we seem to have a rather accurate opinion of the matter... And... *pauses, and looks up* HEY! HEEEY! I see your helicopter up there! Don't play dumb with me!

Camera Guy: Uhh... Kid? What's your name? Haga? Could you-

Haga: Be quiet, foolish camera person! O_o *twitch*  Listen, you! I can't stand your horrible station! You mocked me! Made fun of me! I don't tolerate that! So quiiiiit iiiiit! *wail*

(At the... wait for it... STATION! Wow, who saw that coming? XD)

Keith: The little punk!

Ryuuzaki: He's making fun of our work!

RPGirl: How insulting! I-

ESS: Listen, you guyses! I hate to interrupt, but we're due back on air in about ten seconds! O_O Let's boogie! *turns off the TV*

Pegasus: *clutching a Funny Bunny plushie, and the splinters of his guitar* Rats.

Mai: Wait a minute! *taking her seat* I have an idea! *quickly picks up her microphone* Peacenikky! Judi! 

Both: Yeah?

Mai: Listen, there wouldn't happen to be a small radio somewhere in the cockpit, now, would there?

Both: *pause* ...Yes...

Mai: Good! I knew it would still be there! Now, find some rope-

Judi: How? 

Mai: I don't know! Don't contradict me! _ Anyway, tie it to the handle on the radio...

(a few seconds later)

Keith: Yo, punks! We're back!

Kaori: This is DUEL96FM! And now, a news update!...

Aurashi: Which is what we would normally say, but we have a special message for a very special listener out there... Heh heh heh... Ha ha ha... HA HA HA HA-

Sonya: *whack* Breathe, breathe!

Aurashi: Ow... Thanks, I needed that.

Kajiki: Now, the rest of you, you can ignore this message... But afterwards, we expect your full attention! 

Ryuuzaki: So no dozing off!... Hmm... A good idea... Yeah... zzzZZZZzzzZZZzzz...

RPGirl: Wake up! O_o 

Aurashi: Come on! This is crazy enough as it is! *pokepokepoke*

Ryuuzaki: Aww... *mumblemumble* Five more minutes... *drooooooool*

(At the site of the disaster/the helicopter... They're both the same, pretty much.)

Haga: *whining* And another thing!

Kaiba: *runs in front of the camera, now wearing a coffee can on his head, with eye holes cut in, and a cape made of socks. Oh, and his stick* BOW DOWN TO ME! NOW! *runs off*

Haga: ....*pause* Yes... Well... Where was I?... Oh yes! *begins to wail incessantly* I hate you all! You're all so stupi-... What the? 

*a small radio is being lowered from above, tied to some string*

Judi: We just pulled on lose threads on these seats 'till we had enough rope! 

Haga: What in the?...

Peacenikky: M'kay, you guys, it's all you!

(At the station...)

ESS: Excellent!

Sonya: I'll take care of this! Ranting's my specialty! 

(Sonya can be heard both at the station, and on the little radio, because it's tuned to, what else? DUEL96FM. Oh, and every other radio tuned in, too. Duh.)

Sonya: OI! 

Everyone in the disaster area: *fall over from sheer volume*

Sonya: Listen up, Haga! You little traitor! How dare you report for another station? Radio or not, that's treason! Now, look, we've already had to bug you once! Quit rambling! You should know perfectly well that's MY job to be all evil and stuff, so give it up! You're all crazy and stuffs! Blargh! I don't like yoooou!

Sarah: *heard in the background* You're starting to sound really crazy yourself.

Sonya: Quiet, aibou! I'm ranting! And I-

Judi: Hey! You guys! Kaiba's doin' something funny!

All: Eh?...

Kaiba: *jumping on his pedestal of coffee cans, amidst the total wreckage of the coffee factory. He's still wearing his coffee mask, his sock cape, and his stick is almost totally covered with socks* I am Captain COFFEE SOCK! And you shall all PERISH! Ahahahahaha! Be afraid of my... UBER SOCK ATTACK! *points his stick at the sky* Uuuuubeeeeerrrrr soooooooccckkkk...

All: O_O

Kaiba: ....ATTACK!

....

....

....

Nothing! 

Kaiba: ...Blargh, why isn't this working? Soooooock! Sock sock sock!

Men in White: Now, don't worry, son, we've come to help you... *they grab Kaiba around his arms, and drag him off*

Kaiba: No! No! No! You can't do this to me! MY SOCKS SHALL AVENGE ME! Arrr! *flail*

Men in White: Now now, don't squirm! If you're good, maybe we won't have to use the tranquilizers! *they chuck Kaiba in the back of a van, and drive off*

Mai: *over the radio* Well, this is DUEL96FM! We'll be right back, after these annoucements! *click*

Kaori: Okay, Judi, you can bring the chopper back! 

Judi: Goody! It's boring, keeping this thing in one place!

Peacenikky: Maybe so, but it's definitely not boring keeping this thing in one piece... *a sheet of metal falls off* My point exactly... *shouts out the window* Heads- *WHACK*... too late. Oh well.

Judi: Let's go! *begins to fly the helicopter back*

...

...

...

*loud crashes can be heard below, along with screams now and then*

Pegasus: What's that noise?

Peacenikky: ...Judi, did you remember to bring the radio back up?

Judi: ....Oh yeaaaaah... *reels it back in* Now, let's get back to the station! 

(and with that resolved, all is now silent at the remains of the coffee factory, minus a few loose socks flying around...)

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...

...

...

...

Haga: ...*sitting amidst the wreckage* ...Hellooooo?... *blink* Aww... *gets up, and begins to trudge back to the station*...*sigh*... I should of apologized, so I could of at least gotten a free ride back... *shrug* Ah well, too bad for them. *slapped in the face by a sock* @_@ 

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So, how was that? ^__^;; Again, I apologize to Kaiba fans, and any other fans of any other character I may have offended @_@ Don't eat me or nothin'! Now, before you are so kind as to read and review (I hope ^_^;;), a couple things...

First off, any suggestions for the next chapter would be greatly appreciated! I already have some long term plans, but I need more! o_o So, if anyone has an idea or two, I'd love to hear it! XD I don't care how crazy it is!

Second off... (you're gonna kill me for this), but I'd like to shamelessly plug a spiffy little Animal Crossing ficcie co-written by JoeV aka PlatformerMastah and myself, called "The Crazed Adventures of Sonny and Pchan!". Go to to read it, okay? ^_^ And leave a little review for that, if you get the chance!

Okay! Now I'm done! ^_^ So... um... yay! Review, please, I always love your comments! ^_^


	8. An Important Notice! Please Read!

DUEL96 FM

(An Author's Note)

(By Mythakazu, as always)

Hello, everyone! ^_^ I thank you for taking the time to read this little ramble of mine...

Now, it seems that I have a dilemma on my hands... You see, I'm currently suffering from an extreme lack of ideas for this fic! o_o Now, I'm sure the lot of you wouldn't want that (I hope ^_^;;), so I come to you asking this...

Does anyone have any suggestions at all for future chapters? Or perhaps possible confrontations? Should Kaiba be released from the mental institution? Should Haga get his revenge? And should the original hosts and hostesses be freed?

Now, take note, I DO have some ideas, which I'm gonna list in just a second, and I'd like you to vote on those! Though I'd prefer if you expressed your opinions through email ('cause I don't think the fanfiction.net people like this stuff in reviews), you can still tell me in a review if you feel you need to.

Oh, and a few notes to reviewers......

DClick, methinks I'm gonna letcha in as a DJ ^_^ One of your reviews gave me a bit of an idea (which, as you can see, I need right now o_o)

RPGirl/Repori, would you like me to go by your new name from now on, or keep it as RPGirl for the story, so as not to confuse people? 

Gijinka Renamon, I'm glad you like it so much ^_^ Making people laugh tells me that I'm doing a good job XD Oooor something...

Kaori, you have inspire-ed me! o_o I thank you! Your ideas are listed along with mine below (with full credit given), and are some of the possible voting ones!

Okay, now that that's done...

Here are the current ideas! Remember, feel free to (in fact, I'd prefer it if you did so) give me suggestions! These will also be considered, but the voting is simply to see what people would most like to see out of what ideas I currently have.

A rival station threatens the ratings of our poor monstrosity (AKA, DUEL96 FM), and everyone must take action! It's a station war! O_o *dramatic music* (Suggested by Kaori) A radio telethon thingiee is held, to raise money for the station! Perhaps a better helicopter, or to bail Kaiba out?... Yeah, right! (Suggested by Kaori) The guest hostesses go into rabid*fangirl mode, and must be restrained at all costs! Could this also lead to the release of our old hosts? (NOTE: regardless if you vote for this idea or not, guest DJs, could you please tell me your favorite character out of the ones currently present? (not Malik or something) And it doesn't have to be an old host! Not in the least! XD) (this idea was inspired by DClick) With a lack of hosting ideas, and the commercial break quickly coming to an end, the hosts take the program out onto the streets, interviewing helpless bystanders, and getting dragged into the hustle and bustle of city activity! Getting bored with the simplicity of the station's current state, everyone decides to expand! Upgrade, upgrade, upgrade! But will DUEL96 FM become a global success, or a world-wide disaster? (INSERT YOUR IDEA HERE) That's right, folks! As I said before, I encourage you to suggest stuff! It doesn't even have to be an entire scenario! It could simply be stuff that happens in one of the last 5 scenarios! Doesn't even have to be detailed! ^_^ A cow could drop on Kajiki's head, or something. 

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Okay! I'm done rambling! All suggestions are welcome, and full credit shall be given! ^_^ 

(Oh, and if you really must know, this was also to push my ficcie up a little ^__^;; *BRICK* I uploaded it right before the downtime, and it got pushed back before anyone really saw it.)


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